"Before you were born I carried you under my heart. From the moment you arrived in this world until the moment I leave it, I will always carry you in my heart." - Mandy Harrison
Appetite is great today... Baby Shands I see you really love steak like your father. We had two plates of hibachi steak, rice and mushrooms today. I slid a little brocoli in for mommy and surprisingly you didnt show out like you did when I tried to feed you some yesterday. No tummy ache. No queasies.. I feel great. To finish off a wonderful day, I get to have my first prenatal massage after work today. I am very excited and I am a little sleepy so I plan to sleep the whole time and just soak up the relaxation. Baby Shands I am beginning to get used to carrying you and everything feels back to normal now. Some consistency is always needed in the life of a Taurus to make everything feel alright. i am knocking out my work again and moving fast towards August 8 and September 23... I know once the children return to Head Start, September 23 will be here lightning fast. Your father took my car today to get new tires and forced me to drive his SUV to work today. He is monitoring and watching over every little thing for our safety. I love him so much... I know you will too..
goodbye sweet baby :)
**mommy
ticker
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
It is finally settling in that I am growing a little one for 9 long months and I have to get back to the regularly scheduled daily program, somehow because I cannot daydream every hour of everyday. lol.. (wouldnt that be grand???)
I am excited to be going to my first official prenatal massage tomorrow after work. And it could not come at a better time as my neck and back pain have reared their heads again. I plan to do as much homework as I can tonight so I can sleep the whole night away after my massage.. and during my massage, I plan to sleep then too! oh yea, I optimize every chance of napping that I can. I am so ready for vacation in september. I do not know the status of me and your grandma's trip to the bahamas, but it will happen either before or after you are born. That I DO know.
I dont have much to say, just ready for this day to be over.
love always,
mommy
I am excited to be going to my first official prenatal massage tomorrow after work. And it could not come at a better time as my neck and back pain have reared their heads again. I plan to do as much homework as I can tonight so I can sleep the whole night away after my massage.. and during my massage, I plan to sleep then too! oh yea, I optimize every chance of napping that I can. I am so ready for vacation in september. I do not know the status of me and your grandma's trip to the bahamas, but it will happen either before or after you are born. That I DO know.
I dont have much to say, just ready for this day to be over.
love always,
mommy
Monday, July 25, 2011
BLISS....
Baby Shands:
As I look at your ticker today, it says you are developing your arms, legs and all that other good stuff today. you are growing so fast and I am so excited for you. FOR US. Daddy and I get to meet you for the first time on August 8, 2011. I am so excited I could cry. my prayer is that you are growing and developing well, and that we can see your little heartbeat and hear it. I already love you so very much Baby Shands. I cant wait to meet you. When I think of you now, it brings tears to my eyes. I think back on all the years of loving and caring for lots of lots of children in my lifetime and someday hoping for my own, feeling sometimes, like it would never come... Still I had so much love in my heart.. I just had to share it, with every child I ever came across. No matter their race or sex, I loved on all of them. Ahh... now here are the tears. It must be the hormones. But as I type this, I cry tears of joy. I have had visions of crying at your christening. That day will mean as much to me as your birth my dear child, because like Hannah (my biblical mentor) I will get to give you back to the Lord. I dont know how I will contain myself that day. Thoughts and dreams of you make me so distracted right now. I have really been disciplining myself to get my school work done. I have got to come back down to earth. I may end up coming off facebook again because it is not helping me to stay focused, as I feared.
Baby Shands, I notice that you do not like veggies, so I am making you eat them. Just like your father, you are a carnivore at heart. You make mommy want lots and lots of MEAT... and CHEESE.. but we are going to have to compromise so I am not big as a house come March. You also love your sleep... Thats the Lloyd in you... I cannot get enough sleep, and I am constantly sleepy after sleeping for long hours. As long as you are growing and thriving, I will do whatever is needed sweet baby.
love mommy
As I look at your ticker today, it says you are developing your arms, legs and all that other good stuff today. you are growing so fast and I am so excited for you. FOR US. Daddy and I get to meet you for the first time on August 8, 2011. I am so excited I could cry. my prayer is that you are growing and developing well, and that we can see your little heartbeat and hear it. I already love you so very much Baby Shands. I cant wait to meet you. When I think of you now, it brings tears to my eyes. I think back on all the years of loving and caring for lots of lots of children in my lifetime and someday hoping for my own, feeling sometimes, like it would never come... Still I had so much love in my heart.. I just had to share it, with every child I ever came across. No matter their race or sex, I loved on all of them. Ahh... now here are the tears. It must be the hormones. But as I type this, I cry tears of joy. I have had visions of crying at your christening. That day will mean as much to me as your birth my dear child, because like Hannah (my biblical mentor) I will get to give you back to the Lord. I dont know how I will contain myself that day. Thoughts and dreams of you make me so distracted right now. I have really been disciplining myself to get my school work done. I have got to come back down to earth. I may end up coming off facebook again because it is not helping me to stay focused, as I feared.
Baby Shands, I notice that you do not like veggies, so I am making you eat them. Just like your father, you are a carnivore at heart. You make mommy want lots and lots of MEAT... and CHEESE.. but we are going to have to compromise so I am not big as a house come March. You also love your sleep... Thats the Lloyd in you... I cannot get enough sleep, and I am constantly sleepy after sleeping for long hours. As long as you are growing and thriving, I will do whatever is needed sweet baby.
love mommy
Sunday, July 24, 2011
early pregnancy tidbits....
before I forget here is what has been going on thus far...
during the two week wait I did the following:
2 dpo- almost had an emotional meltdown due to the waiter at my favorite restaurant pissing me off about my onion allergy. He insisted on not cooking my food on the Hibachi grill and messing up my dining experience and when I got done with him, my food was certifiably GRILLED... I felt like stomping off to the bathroom and crying my heart out... NOT LIKE ME! When I got home, I was burned out... had to sleep.
5 dpo- bad cramps started.. so bad I could not sleep the whole night... I assume this was when baby implanted in my uterus.. I still have cramps til this day, but they are a lot less frequent and a lot less painful. I know they are growing pains as my uterus stretches for baby. and the back pain started then too... and it was just as bad.. still have it on occassion if I need to sit down. I think it serves as a reminder I am pregnant.
7 dpo- the bumps on my areola sprung white heads!!! WTH??? A good pregnant friend of mine said her doc told her its the oil glands in the breast preparing for breast feeding. I pray this means a good milk supply in my future, as I DO plan to nurse Baby Shands the first few months.
7-8 dpo- Baby Shands showed me they did NOT care for spicy foods like mom does... WICKED heartburn after eating jalapeno chips!
9 dpo- the start of fatigue.. wiped out!!! slept til 1230 noon and then took another hour to get out of bed... watched scooby doo in the master suite.
around 9 dpo- I had a crazy pain near my right side of my rib cage under my breasts if I moved too much or laughed too hard... it went away after I tested positive.
10 dpo- weird dreams... started dreaming of deceased love ones
12 dpo- positive test!!!!! second line popped up before the control line could finish. Line was not a faint one. First beta indicated I was pregnant at 36.. second one two days later tripled in 24 hours (140) and then saturday July 23, my final beta blood test revealed a rise to 408.. there is some identical twin speculation going on...
other things I always want to remember...
- Stephen babying me.. he wont let me do anything strenous, drive alone past a two hour trip (after that he must drive) and he checks my fruit to make sure its not rotting. He is excited to be a father again and rubs my stomach every morning he wakes up ( I am usually still asleep). He also talks to the baby before bed each night and kisses my stomach good night... It feels really funny to feel his voice vibrate through my tummy. I cant wait til the day the baby identifies his voice.
- I play lots of Jazz and Gospel music when I am relaxing and studying.. I think the jazz has helped me get all A's thus far. I wonder if the baby will love jazz.. I plan to make classical and jazz cd's to play so they can sleep after they are born.
- The excitement around us is contagious! so far we have 4 baby showers on the books lol
- Although the twins do not know, the whole weekend me and Kianna have been spending together, she has been around my stomach A LOT.. a few minutes ago, she even rubbed my tummy. She lays across it gently and seems to be aware someone is growing in there.. kids are something else!
- I have a strong feeling Baby Shands is a BOY and so does everyone who knows about the baby. I also feel he will be extremely close to Kianna after he is born.
- When I walk outside, my chest gets tight.. I know the heat and humidity is not good for my asthma so I stay indoors a lot these days. I get bored, but I want to do whats best for baby. I take my vitamins everyday, take baby aspirin to avoid clotting, drink kefir to lessen the chances of yeast infection and to keep the bacteria in order in my body and I also have started drinking cranberry juice again (which I love) to avoid a UTI..
- My appetite is starting to come back as of last night... it had disappered and I would only eat after I was starving because nothing sounded good. If i DID eat it was meat and cheese... I found the italian sausage and peppers at golden corral to be delectable yesterday... I craved a turkey and cheese grilled sandwich today and it was SCRUMPTIOUS! Shout out to Baby Shands for giving mom her appetite back. Now if only I could get this baby to eat some veggies... just like dad already. And I LOVED veggies before I got pregnant.
- Stephen and Kianna have shown lots of sympathy pregnancy symptoms. they are both eating up everything and sleeping for me. Kianna slept with me til about 10 am this morning and then she ate breakfast and said she wanted to take another nap.. we are both about to retire to the bed, soon.
during the two week wait I did the following:
2 dpo- almost had an emotional meltdown due to the waiter at my favorite restaurant pissing me off about my onion allergy. He insisted on not cooking my food on the Hibachi grill and messing up my dining experience and when I got done with him, my food was certifiably GRILLED... I felt like stomping off to the bathroom and crying my heart out... NOT LIKE ME! When I got home, I was burned out... had to sleep.
5 dpo- bad cramps started.. so bad I could not sleep the whole night... I assume this was when baby implanted in my uterus.. I still have cramps til this day, but they are a lot less frequent and a lot less painful. I know they are growing pains as my uterus stretches for baby. and the back pain started then too... and it was just as bad.. still have it on occassion if I need to sit down. I think it serves as a reminder I am pregnant.
7 dpo- the bumps on my areola sprung white heads!!! WTH??? A good pregnant friend of mine said her doc told her its the oil glands in the breast preparing for breast feeding. I pray this means a good milk supply in my future, as I DO plan to nurse Baby Shands the first few months.
7-8 dpo- Baby Shands showed me they did NOT care for spicy foods like mom does... WICKED heartburn after eating jalapeno chips!
9 dpo- the start of fatigue.. wiped out!!! slept til 1230 noon and then took another hour to get out of bed... watched scooby doo in the master suite.
around 9 dpo- I had a crazy pain near my right side of my rib cage under my breasts if I moved too much or laughed too hard... it went away after I tested positive.
10 dpo- weird dreams... started dreaming of deceased love ones
12 dpo- positive test!!!!! second line popped up before the control line could finish. Line was not a faint one. First beta indicated I was pregnant at 36.. second one two days later tripled in 24 hours (140) and then saturday July 23, my final beta blood test revealed a rise to 408.. there is some identical twin speculation going on...
other things I always want to remember...
- Stephen babying me.. he wont let me do anything strenous, drive alone past a two hour trip (after that he must drive) and he checks my fruit to make sure its not rotting. He is excited to be a father again and rubs my stomach every morning he wakes up ( I am usually still asleep). He also talks to the baby before bed each night and kisses my stomach good night... It feels really funny to feel his voice vibrate through my tummy. I cant wait til the day the baby identifies his voice.
- I play lots of Jazz and Gospel music when I am relaxing and studying.. I think the jazz has helped me get all A's thus far. I wonder if the baby will love jazz.. I plan to make classical and jazz cd's to play so they can sleep after they are born.
- The excitement around us is contagious! so far we have 4 baby showers on the books lol
- Although the twins do not know, the whole weekend me and Kianna have been spending together, she has been around my stomach A LOT.. a few minutes ago, she even rubbed my tummy. She lays across it gently and seems to be aware someone is growing in there.. kids are something else!
- I have a strong feeling Baby Shands is a BOY and so does everyone who knows about the baby. I also feel he will be extremely close to Kianna after he is born.
- When I walk outside, my chest gets tight.. I know the heat and humidity is not good for my asthma so I stay indoors a lot these days. I get bored, but I want to do whats best for baby. I take my vitamins everyday, take baby aspirin to avoid clotting, drink kefir to lessen the chances of yeast infection and to keep the bacteria in order in my body and I also have started drinking cranberry juice again (which I love) to avoid a UTI..
- My appetite is starting to come back as of last night... it had disappered and I would only eat after I was starving because nothing sounded good. If i DID eat it was meat and cheese... I found the italian sausage and peppers at golden corral to be delectable yesterday... I craved a turkey and cheese grilled sandwich today and it was SCRUMPTIOUS! Shout out to Baby Shands for giving mom her appetite back. Now if only I could get this baby to eat some veggies... just like dad already. And I LOVED veggies before I got pregnant.
- Stephen and Kianna have shown lots of sympathy pregnancy symptoms. they are both eating up everything and sleeping for me. Kianna slept with me til about 10 am this morning and then she ate breakfast and said she wanted to take another nap.. we are both about to retire to the bed, soon.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
anticipation...
Baby Shands:
the blood work waiting period is offically OVER.. Numbers are still rising well so after panel number three, I am to call back monday and schedule me and daddy's first time to see you... we are so excited! It still feels unreal. I still need to pinch myself. I think you are slowly but surely reminding me that you are here and that mommy has to slow down and rest and not be the road runner I typically am. I started cramping today, so I have been laying down as much as I can. Although I wanted to rest, after a cat nap earlier, I did not feel like sleeping so I laid around and read some. Your big sister Kianna is here, Kyndal had her tonsils out. Kianna has been laying on me a lot as if she senses you are inside of me. She saw her father kiss my tummy out of the corner of her eye and laughed out loud.. hopefully she wont repeat what she saw lol.... Although I tell your father to keep things under wraps especially around the girls, he is like a kid in a candy store. *sigh* We have decided to announce your pending birth between 13-14 weeks, so then mommy will rejoin facebook and join the rest of the world lol... I can see my page flooding with comments now. We decided that at 12 weeks, we are going to begin clearing out your nursery and having the carpet shampooed. It also just so happens that when I enter the second trimester (week 13) we will be on your father's family vacation with his maternal side in Myrtle Beach. Depending on the shape of my tummy that weekend, will determine if I announce at 13 weeks versus the next week. Time will tell.. I cannot wait for the world to know about you.. but untill then, I am safely protecting you and doing all that I can to make sure you are growing healthy and strong and ready to meet us in the windy month of March... I also wanted to tell you that although we do not care what sex you are, I have began having strong feelings that you are a BOY... Some old wives tales have lined up with you being a boy as well, but we have 11 weeks to find out...
love always,
mommy
the blood work waiting period is offically OVER.. Numbers are still rising well so after panel number three, I am to call back monday and schedule me and daddy's first time to see you... we are so excited! It still feels unreal. I still need to pinch myself. I think you are slowly but surely reminding me that you are here and that mommy has to slow down and rest and not be the road runner I typically am. I started cramping today, so I have been laying down as much as I can. Although I wanted to rest, after a cat nap earlier, I did not feel like sleeping so I laid around and read some. Your big sister Kianna is here, Kyndal had her tonsils out. Kianna has been laying on me a lot as if she senses you are inside of me. She saw her father kiss my tummy out of the corner of her eye and laughed out loud.. hopefully she wont repeat what she saw lol.... Although I tell your father to keep things under wraps especially around the girls, he is like a kid in a candy store. *sigh* We have decided to announce your pending birth between 13-14 weeks, so then mommy will rejoin facebook and join the rest of the world lol... I can see my page flooding with comments now. We decided that at 12 weeks, we are going to begin clearing out your nursery and having the carpet shampooed. It also just so happens that when I enter the second trimester (week 13) we will be on your father's family vacation with his maternal side in Myrtle Beach. Depending on the shape of my tummy that weekend, will determine if I announce at 13 weeks versus the next week. Time will tell.. I cannot wait for the world to know about you.. but untill then, I am safely protecting you and doing all that I can to make sure you are growing healthy and strong and ready to meet us in the windy month of March... I also wanted to tell you that although we do not care what sex you are, I have began having strong feelings that you are a BOY... Some old wives tales have lined up with you being a boy as well, but we have 11 weeks to find out...
love always,
mommy
Friday, July 22, 2011
Dear Baby Shands:
Sorry mommy did not get to write you yesterday. I had every intention on doing so but I got tied up with homework and bringing myself down from overractive emotions. I was waiting for beta blood results that let me know that you were growing and developing as you should and I was kind of nervous. The thought of losing you after we worked so hard for so long to reach this moment plagued my mind. The enemy worked hard to make me worry, so I spent some time with God in an attempt to not be anxious. Then the nurse called later than usual, and that really took a lot out of me. But God gave me double for my trouble.. instead of the numbers doubling in 48 hours, they tripled in 24.5! So in the back of our minds now, your daddy and I are wondering if there is not just Baby Shands, but Shands BABIES in there!!! We will find out hopefully in early August what the head count is. My child, you have bought so much joy to those around us already. You have bought inspiration, joy and a few tears from those who have cheered us on. I can only imagine the uproar that will happen on facebook when I reconnect and announce your pending arrival. I am just thankful to God for giving us a testimony... I plan to share inspiration and hope with any woman going through infertility and spread the word that God is ABLE... I love that you have made others wishes come true Baby Shands... I love that you have given so much hope my sweet child and that you are already bringing my family together in a way I am excited to experience.
Each day I carry you, it becomes more and more real. I think it will finally hit home when I get to see you on ultrasound for the first time. I still dont feel like its real. I feel like I am in a dream. And its so funny, my little belly is already growing! one of my co workers pointed it out and I had to share with her. The lower part of my belly is already poking out. My stomach seems to be a little hard as well. It is actually getting hard to conceal you Baby Shands, so early on. I never would have thought there would be a hint of baby right now, but I can tell. My uterus and stomach feel like a bowling ball so I have been told I walk like I am pregnant. Probably because I am trying to balance out the heaviness I feel. Feels like I am falling towards the floor! You have not given me much grief so far sweet baby, except you wont make up your mind what to eat. One minute I feel like I may have a taste for something, then I dont want it anymore lol.. Its not untill I am STARVING that I can finally eat something. My appetite has yet to pick up. It decreased drastically and I think I will probably lose weight the first trimester than gain. I hear thats normal though. You have affected my vision somewhat sweet baby as my eyes are extra dry. I went to the eye doctor yesterday and he said that this was normal in pregnancy. I already knew I was going to need glasses so I had those ordered also. But the doc gave me some drops to help so I can continue to work over the computer at work and with school without my eyes being too sore. Baby Shands, I think you are aiming to make mommy's asthma act up in combination with this southern humidity. I have been staying indoors as much as possible. When I walk outside and walk from one point to another, my chest hurts.. feels like I am gonna lose my breath. I predict a trip to an asthma specialist in the near future.
Your Auntie Chatney had your friend Navaehda last night... she has waited so long to have a baby of her own as well... now her and her husband are enjoying a sweet baby girl. I cant wait untill you two play together...
Thats it for now, -I must get back to work..
with love,
mommy***
Sorry mommy did not get to write you yesterday. I had every intention on doing so but I got tied up with homework and bringing myself down from overractive emotions. I was waiting for beta blood results that let me know that you were growing and developing as you should and I was kind of nervous. The thought of losing you after we worked so hard for so long to reach this moment plagued my mind. The enemy worked hard to make me worry, so I spent some time with God in an attempt to not be anxious. Then the nurse called later than usual, and that really took a lot out of me. But God gave me double for my trouble.. instead of the numbers doubling in 48 hours, they tripled in 24.5! So in the back of our minds now, your daddy and I are wondering if there is not just Baby Shands, but Shands BABIES in there!!! We will find out hopefully in early August what the head count is. My child, you have bought so much joy to those around us already. You have bought inspiration, joy and a few tears from those who have cheered us on. I can only imagine the uproar that will happen on facebook when I reconnect and announce your pending arrival. I am just thankful to God for giving us a testimony... I plan to share inspiration and hope with any woman going through infertility and spread the word that God is ABLE... I love that you have made others wishes come true Baby Shands... I love that you have given so much hope my sweet child and that you are already bringing my family together in a way I am excited to experience.
Each day I carry you, it becomes more and more real. I think it will finally hit home when I get to see you on ultrasound for the first time. I still dont feel like its real. I feel like I am in a dream. And its so funny, my little belly is already growing! one of my co workers pointed it out and I had to share with her. The lower part of my belly is already poking out. My stomach seems to be a little hard as well. It is actually getting hard to conceal you Baby Shands, so early on. I never would have thought there would be a hint of baby right now, but I can tell. My uterus and stomach feel like a bowling ball so I have been told I walk like I am pregnant. Probably because I am trying to balance out the heaviness I feel. Feels like I am falling towards the floor! You have not given me much grief so far sweet baby, except you wont make up your mind what to eat. One minute I feel like I may have a taste for something, then I dont want it anymore lol.. Its not untill I am STARVING that I can finally eat something. My appetite has yet to pick up. It decreased drastically and I think I will probably lose weight the first trimester than gain. I hear thats normal though. You have affected my vision somewhat sweet baby as my eyes are extra dry. I went to the eye doctor yesterday and he said that this was normal in pregnancy. I already knew I was going to need glasses so I had those ordered also. But the doc gave me some drops to help so I can continue to work over the computer at work and with school without my eyes being too sore. Baby Shands, I think you are aiming to make mommy's asthma act up in combination with this southern humidity. I have been staying indoors as much as possible. When I walk outside and walk from one point to another, my chest hurts.. feels like I am gonna lose my breath. I predict a trip to an asthma specialist in the near future.
Your Auntie Chatney had your friend Navaehda last night... she has waited so long to have a baby of her own as well... now her and her husband are enjoying a sweet baby girl. I cant wait untill you two play together...
Thats it for now, -I must get back to work..
with love,
mommy***
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I can hardly wait...
I woke up today to a face full of pimples that came like theives in the night, an overactive bladder and a slight headache. Still there is joy in my heart. As I await the blood work that is to take place in the next few days so that I can finally get our first appointment to see you Baby Shands, I pray and meditate to our God. I pray that I will not be overly anxious about anything and therefore upset your mood. I also pray that I can eat something soon. Although I get hunger pains, I do not have an appetite for ANYTHING. I ate a string cheese and drank some water so far. Your father has been eating everything since I cant, with his empathy symptoms.. He ate a whole pint of ice cream last night and wanted more. He has also been cramping and was stretched out sleep last night... so exhausted on his day off... righttttttt! I grow a little bit more excited now when I think about you being inside of me. At first it was hard to believe, but as I write to you and others talk about you and I see your growth each day on my ticker, it is starting to feel real. I pray that all continues to go well with you, although I have no doubt that it will. Between today and yesterday, I had four people to tell me they think you are a girl... I am so curious to know.. I could find out at a 3 d ultrasound in about 12 weeks from now, but we will see about that... your father and I dont care what sex you are, either way we will love you... But mommy is excited to shop for pink or blue room decor, clothing and just to plan for you in general. Start getting your name on things... Oh I cant wait til the fun begins...
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
We rejoice...
Baby Shands is officially on the way.. After many tears and struggles within the last two years and two weeks to be exact, we learned our little man or little lady is on their way. They will arrive around March 29, 2012. I wanted to start this blog to my new baby so that I can remember everything that has happened throughout this pregnancy and save this for them to see someday, so that they know how important they are to their father and I. We have longed for you.. prayed for you.. cried for you.. for what seems like an eternity. Now you are growing inside of me and we cannot be any happier. Your grandparents, auntie and some of mommy's closest peeps are so excited that you are on your way... Please continue to grow little one and be strong. We really need you to arrive safely. May my heartbeat be a calming sound for you so that you can rest peacefully. May daddy and mommy's voices reassure you that you are loved, always.
I am confident that God bought us to this place and at this time and he does not plan to leave us. I am confident that this pregnancy will carry to full term, uneventfully and when you are born, everything will be okay. I love you my child, and I cannot wait to see you at our first ultrasound..
Know that mommy and daddy are always thinking of you...
love,
mommy
I am confident that God bought us to this place and at this time and he does not plan to leave us. I am confident that this pregnancy will carry to full term, uneventfully and when you are born, everything will be okay. I love you my child, and I cannot wait to see you at our first ultrasound..
Know that mommy and daddy are always thinking of you...
love,
mommy
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